Keeping the Faith

I would like to share something that happened last night -
At 2am I awoke to rustling on the baby monitor in Ty's room. I rolled over with a huge sigh, thinking oh please, not another night waking.... then I heard the most beautiful babble resonating from that little speaker on my bedside table.. ma ma ma, da da da, ba ba ba, na na na, uh oh, oh no, uh oh... and the reality of it came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks, it wasn't Ty's voice. The monitor had picked up the signal of my next door neighbor's neurotypical baby, gleefully developing his voice in the middle of the night. I cried like a baby myself. I cried for the strength this journey takes. I cried for the memories when I too could lie in bed and listen to Ty babble that sweetly the first year of his life. I cried for all of our kids, stolen from us with no ransom in sight. I cried, and I listened ~ 20 minutes of pure baby bliss.
I awoke this morning feeling deflated. Pulling my boot straps back up for another Groundhog Day of Autism. No, it isn't fair what we do day in and day out. But we are all thankful for some aspect of the journey.. maybe yours is the pride of a small gain, a new friend that you have met sitting in a therapy lounge, a potty success, or new word. Each piece renews faith and musters up yet more Hercules Hope to continue the battle ~
Don't give up. I won't.